Guess who’s back (back again); Real Talk’s back (tell a friend). Please do tell your friends, we’d love to have more listeners/readers/people just in general.
Thank you for coming back to listen to this week’s episode of Real Talk – the show where we talk about dating, relationships, and all the lovely and horrible experiences we’ve had with them. I’m Ranita, my co-host is Steph. She’s in charge of the audio, I’m in charge of the writing.
As for news, we have a new set-up. Steph has figured out a way to play our songs of the week at the beginning and the end of the show. It’s pretty cool; I have no idea how to do that kind of stuff, so God bless Stephanie.
In terms of love lives, my love life is dead. I have nothing going on whatsoever. I am writing fanfiction about Jess Mariano again. I think that sums me up pretty well. Also, Steph dyed my hair, so it’s purple now. Steph’s awesome at that kind of stuff – I love visiting Stephanie’s Ratchet Hair Salon (as we like to call it). As for Steph, she has a casual thing going on right now that she’s happy with. However, there’s another young man she’s interacting with who is super into her. I drafted a text to him on Steph’s behalf during the show. Overall, we’re both just trying to figure out what we want at this point. Who knows?
This week’s episode is all about virginity. We also talk about “dick pics” for a little while. But it’s mainly the stupid social construct of virginity.
First off, it doesn’t exist. Let’s just get that out of the way right now. As Steph says, “virginity is a social construct created by men to oppress women.” She’s not wrong.
Because we are women, we are mainly talking about virginity in relation to women. Also, when you think of a virgin, just in general, you think of a young woman. Which is a problem in our patriarchal society, but one hour isn’t long enough to get into all of that.
Steph pointed out that men are excited about being with a virgin, or they run in the opposite direction. Some of them are glad to “take” your virginity, whereas others are afraid that you’re going to fall in love with them, and they want nothing to do with you. We discussed how contradictory this whole idea is. Boys don’t want to sleep with you because you’re a virgin and you have no sexual experience – but how are you meant to get that “experience” if no one will sleep with you? It makes no sense.
Furthermore, the whole phrase “losing your virginity” is bull-malarky (as Stephanie would say). The last time we checked, you don’t lose anything after you have sex for the first time. In terms of your physical body, your hymen doesn’t “break.” Sex ed and society in general taught us wrong. It’s not a wall that needs to be knocked down by a penis.
Have a Teen Vogue article on it because this isn’t an anatomy podcast: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/facts-about-hymen-and-virginity
In terms of emotional you, you also do not lose anything. Having sex for the first time doesn’t “wreck your innocence” or any of that nonsense. You are still the same person you were before. You’ve just experienced sex now. That’s the only difference.
YouTuber Laci Green suggests that rather than saying “losing your virginity,” you should call it your “sexual debut.” We agree. Most people have sex. There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t. Your entire worth isn’t determined by whether or not you have had sex. I think of it like a hobby. If you’re going to be judgmental because someone hasn’t had sex, that’s like being offended by someone who likes to knit. Just because you prefer crochet doesn’t mean you can go around telling people who knit that they’re wrong. That’s a weird metaphor. I think it makes sense though.
Also, check out Laci Green. She’s very good at explaining sexual things:
Lastly, and this makes me really angry, most people think of sex as between a man and a woman. I hate that this isn’t inclusive towards people who like the same sex. Sex isn’t just a penis going into a vagina. Sex is whatever you consider it to be. It’s not always penetration (as Laci mentions in the above video).
In a similar vein, losing your virginity is whatever you consider it to be. For example, I consider my first sexual experience, regardless of if there was penetration involved, to be my sexual debut. It wasn’t a huge event within my mind. I just think of it as when I started to do sexual things. That’s all.
Call it what you want. Don’t let the mainstream media tell you what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex. As long as you are being safe and consensual, you’re good to go.
God-Awful “Dick Pics”
They are almost always unsolicited. In my opinion, they’re awful. Not a fan. Never have been, never will be.
However, if you are going to send/receive them, make sure there’s communication there. Make sure that the person receiving the picture wants to see it. Don’t just send one randomly. You never know when somebody’s going to be at lunch with their mother while they open your snap. Just ask, please.
(Also, Steph and I don’t think penises themselves are very nice to look at. Just save it for when you’re together in person. That’s what we recommend anyway.)
Couples of the Week
My couple of the week is Greg and Mitch, the ASAPScience guys. They’re Canadian, they met at the University of Guelph, and they’ve been together for over 10 years. I love science, I love my fellow gays, so they’re just great. Also, Mitch was on Big Brother Canada. If you know me, you know it’s been my life-long dream to be on that show, so it was awesome to see one of my favourite people on there. (Sidenote: look out for me on Big Brother Canada in a couple of years!)
Steph’s couple of the week is Halsey and G-Eazy (Eazy? Easy? I was going to Google it but I don’t care enough.) Their song together is semi-decent. I’m just not a fan of him. I think his hair is too greasy and he looks like he’s in a mob or something. But if you like him, have fun listening to his music. You do you.
Songs of the Week
My song of the week is Dirty Laundry by All Time Low. I did not expect much from their most recent album, to be honest. However, this song was the first single off it and I loved it. Still do. The lyrics are great. All Time Low is great. (Shout-out to Alex Gaskarth, Jack Barakat, Zack Merrick, & Rian Dawson!)
Steph’s song of the week is Say Something by Justin Timberlake ft. Chris Stapleton. When Steph first told me this was her song, I thought she meant the “say something I’m giving up on you” song. However, I have now listened to the proper song and it’s much better than I was expecting. Check it out:
I hope you enjoyed my poorly edited picture this week. I thought I’d switch it up.
Anyways, that’s the rundown of this week’s show! We’ll be back next Tuesday at 7pm talking about… something. You’ll find out next week.
Once again, thanks to Radio Laurier for giving us this amazing opportunity. This show was just meant to talk about our dating fails, but it’s awesome that we’re getting into more serious stuff. We appreciate having a platform to discuss all of these things, the important topics in particular.
If you want to get in contact with us, you can tweet us @PlaidCheesecake and @stephwillmore. If you want to e-mail me you can do that at virk9200 (at) mylaurier (dot) ca. Thanks y’all, we hope you come back next week!
And check out our Spotify playlist!